meditationkicksass:

Year Two, Week Twenty-Two

St. Stephen’s Church, Portland, OR

Please do not

mistake me

for some annoying 

POLLYANNA ITERATION

when I tell you 

what I’m thinking today

I want to

preface the message

by saying that

I realise very keenly

that some 

EVENTS

CIRCUMSTANCES

ORGANISATIONS

and

PEOPLE

may have

rubbed you so 

very much the

WRONG WAY

that trying to

SHIFT THE PRISM

in order to see some

GOOD IN THE BAD

might seem utterly

IMPOSSIBLE

and I totally get that

so I am not here

to be didactic

Just to note that

in my own 

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

the more that I

MEDITATE

the more I am able

to look at even the most

NEGATIVE EVENTS

of my life and find 

at least a tiny crumb 

of something useful

So for instance

I really truly do

HATE ORGANISED RELIGION

now I know that

being a 

Philosophical Buddhist

as I like to call myself

I probably should 

ERADICATE HATE

from my vocabulary

and also

from my life

BUT GODDAMMIT

so much damage 

has been done to

so very many

in the name of god

I can personally trace back

the vast amounts of

FUCKED UPEDNESS

that informed my childhood

(and so by extension 

my adulthood)

straight to the

MOTHERFUCKING POPE

(to all of them)

But I also have to admit

that this thing inside of me

this true and deep and sincere

DESIRE TO SERVE OTHERS

is also rooted in

that very place

I LOVE TO HATE

I got the message

as a nervous little kid

biting my nails in 

the front pew

of my childhood church

that we need to

TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER

As I’ve mentioned here

many times before

I now define my 

“RELIGION”

with lyrics from

CHRiSSIE HYNDE

and 

IRIS DEMENT

the former wrote in

MESSAGE OF LOVE

how the reason we’re here

is to love each other

and the latter wrote

how regarding religion

she prefers to

LET THE MYSTERY BE

Sound advice all around

I still am drawn to churches

I like to look at them

I simultaneously 

SHRINK IN HORROR

knowing the exploitation 

that went into making them

(literally all the construction

but also all the manipulation)

and I also

LEAN IN

and I remember

the stained glass

the rituals

the deep desire

that some god

would reach down

tap my shoulder

and

PICK ME

to be his 

SPECIAL ONE

well of course

that never happened

but even when I

stormed away at nineteen

from the evils of

this homophobic

pedophile-riddled

birth control denying

HOUSE OF CRAP

I could not shake

all of the

BRAINWASHING

I still cannot 

but my 

MEDITATION

gives me an awareness

of what they did to me

and my awareness

let’s me see that

some of the ideas

were okay

I can separate them out

from a connection to

HEAVEN AND HELL

and I can 

take the parts

that seem right

like sitting quietly sometimes

taking care of others often

and trying to learn to

FORGIVE

as ever 

I have my work

CUT OUT FOR ME

But I’m getting better

or at least I am getting

LESS WORSE

Today I

Breathe in

and I

Breathe out

and I am thankful

for these slow lessons

that bubble up 

to the surface

over time

Thank you

meditationkicksass:

Year Two, Week Twenty-Two

St. Stephen’s Church, Portland, OR

Please do not

mistake me

for some annoying 

POLLYANNA ITERATION

when I tell you 

what I’m thinking today

I want to

preface the message

by saying that

I realise very keenly

that some 

EVENTS

CIRCUMSTANCES

ORGANISATIONS

and

PEOPLE

may have

rubbed you so 

very much the

WRONG WAY

that trying to

SHIFT THE PRISM

in order to see some

GOOD IN THE BAD

might seem utterly

IMPOSSIBLE

and I totally get that

so I am not here

to be didactic

Just to note that

in my own 

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

the more that I

MEDITATE

the more I am able

to look at even the most

NEGATIVE EVENTS

of my life and find 

at least a tiny crumb 

of something useful

So for instance

I really truly do

HATE ORGANISED RELIGION

now I know that

being a 

Philosophical Buddhist

as I like to call myself

I probably should 

ERADICATE HATE

from my vocabulary

and also

from my life

BUT GODDAMMIT

so much damage 

has been done to

so very many

in the name of god

I can personally trace back

the vast amounts of

FUCKED UPEDNESS

that informed my childhood

(and so by extension 

my adulthood)

straight to the

MOTHERFUCKING POPE

(to all of them)

But I also have to admit

that this thing inside of me

this true and deep and sincere

DESIRE TO SERVE OTHERS

is also rooted in

that very place

I LOVE TO HATE

I got the message

as a nervous little kid

biting my nails in 

the front pew

of my childhood church

that we need to

TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER

As I’ve mentioned here

many times before

I now define my 

“RELIGION”

with lyrics from

CHRiSSIE HYNDE

and 

IRIS DEMENT

the former wrote in

MESSAGE OF LOVE

how the reason we’re here

is to love each other

and the latter wrote

how regarding religion

she prefers to

LET THE MYSTERY BE

Sound advice all around

I still am drawn to churches

I like to look at them

I simultaneously 

SHRINK IN HORROR

knowing the exploitation 

that went into making them

(literally all the construction

but also all the manipulation)

and I also

LEAN IN

and I remember

the stained glass

the rituals

the deep desire

that some god

would reach down

tap my shoulder

and

PICK ME

to be his 

SPECIAL ONE

well of course

that never happened

but even when I

stormed away at nineteen

from the evils of

this homophobic

pedophile-riddled

birth control denying

HOUSE OF CRAP

I could not shake

all of the

BRAINWASHING

I still cannot 

but my 

MEDITATION

gives me an awareness

of what they did to me

and my awareness

let’s me see that

some of the ideas

were okay

I can separate them out

from a connection to

HEAVEN AND HELL

and I can 

take the parts

that seem right

like sitting quietly sometimes

taking care of others often

and trying to learn to

FORGIVE

as ever 

I have my work

CUT OUT FOR ME

But I’m getting better

or at least I am getting

LESS WORSE

Today I

Breathe in

and I

Breathe out

and I am thankful

for these slow lessons

that bubble up 

to the surface

over time

Thank you